So many questions run through my mind.. But 2 seem to pop in my head the most. I want to be able to think about something else, but i cant.
Is this my fault??
I have done a lot of reading up on depression and anxiety during pregnancy and what problems it can place on an unborn child. I know it sounds stupid but if you know me you know that i have been through a lot in the past yr with my first daughter. I was taking a medicine for anxiety but i have read every article on the medication and it says there is no harm to an unborn child and that many woman use it during pregnancy. Lance was sooo upset when i started taking it and told me if it changed my moods he was gonna flush it. So i decided to deal with my being upset another way.. On my own. So did me bottling up all my hurt from Madi do this to Kadence? I doubt it but who can tell me that.. And the person that can tell me that well how can you prove it??
Heart problems or Disabilities??
The paper the Cardiologist gave me said that this problem is caused by heart problems in the family or other disabilties in the child.. There are no heart problems in either of our families.. Enough said. :(
You cant worry yourself on what did I do... I say this because I did and it got me nothing but stressed. I could not eat for all 40 weeks and lost 6lbs during my pregnancy and thought this is because of me... Nope not something you can control. Nothing anyone says will help but what I do know is that when you are sitting with a healthy baby after all us said and done you will look back and she will too one day and you will know how strong you were and are! And that I know for a fact! You will do awesome... And so will she.
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